Happiness is a fragile thing. Most of us have experienced its loss at some point in our lives. Even if we’ve never experienced unhappiness, we can imagine what it feels like: a dull ache within us; a sense that time slips by more slowly than usual; moments of despair, etc.
When happiness is shaken, everything else in life seems less stable and exciting. We notice every negative detail that tarnishes our otherwise pleasant existence. Our relationships suffer as we become suspicious, defensive, or withdrawn from those who love us.
So it’s necessary to know what are the common issues that undermine happiness, so that we may identify them in our lives and prevent their development.
1.Loss of Hope:
Hope is what gets us out of bed in the morning; hope is what makes life worth living. We all have hopes for ourselves and for those whom we love. A failure to achieve these hopes over a long period can lead to depression, anger, or hopelessness.
2. Unrealistic Expectations :
This is something we all do, whether we realize it or not. We think that the world will be better after college, better after a promotion, better after getting married, etc. This perpetual dissatisfaction can eventually lead to unhappiness if the reality does not live up to our expectations.
3. Focusing on Negative Details:
We are constantly bombarded with negative information from newspapers and television news reports; this can make us aware of issues that otherwise would never affect us. ( i .e .: famine in Africa) But when taken too far these details take over our lives, making us overly cynical about everything good around us.
If we expect everything to happen quickly, we’re bound to be let down. We want a long-term goal to be realized immediately; we want a reward for all our hard work now. When these things don’t come immediately, we become frustrated and unhappy.
5. Not Being Kind:
This is the simplest yet hardest lesson of happiness. In order to be happy, we must first wish happiness for others—those who love us and those whom we’ve never met. If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this letter it’s that whatever happens in life is not about you – it’s about how you respond. Have the wisdom to know the difference and choose wisely your response towards happiness…and strife.
6. Not Giving Back:
We all receive so much from the world, but we rarely stop to think about what it cost to give us that gift. The joy of life comes from sharing and not only taking; when we truly recognize this, we will gain strength enough to withstand any hardship.
7. Being Passive:
Happiness is not something you allow – it’s something you pursue. You have an obligation to yourself to make your own happiness because no one else can do that for you. Happiness depends on your perception of events; therefore, you are solely responsible for how happy you feel at any given moment in time.
8. Not Seeing the Big Picture :
The past is gone, the future is unknown. All we have is today and this very moment. The more you focus on how things could be better (in the future), the less happy you’ll be right now in this present moment.
9. Failure to Learn From Past Experiences:
Memories are composed of moments that may be biased or false; it’s in our nature to recall fondly only those moments which support what we believe while forgetting or discounting all that comes before and after. This can lead us dangerously astray from reality which causes unhappiness…and sometimes even tragedy! If you find yourself remembering selectively, schedule time to review your memories with an open mind, so as not to skew them by selective recollection.
10.Family break down:
Strong family life is the best indicator of a prosperous society. The desire to belong can be so strong that unhappiness may follow when we feel we are no longer part of this circle of belongingness. In order to attain true happiness, we must make our own lives meaningful and not depend on others for our sense of self-worth.
11.Not paying attention:
Society has become obsessed with the image; people have come to believe that their happiness depends on how they look rather than on what they do. Some elements in society lead us away from reality by constantly telling us what we should strive for and how the world around us should be, instead of showing us who we truly are inside ( i .e .: shopping).
Happiness does not derive from being surrounded by other people, but rather from spending time with the right people. Perhaps it’s more fruitful to seek out your own company and enjoy a good book than to surround yourself with shallow friends.
13. Ignoring health:
Health is not just about being free of disease; in fact, good health is a determining factor in our ability to be happy. When we are healthy, we can think clearly and act purposefully toward our own happiness…and when we are ill or infirm, we become unhappy. A great poet once said that “health is the greatest possession.”
14. Not having confidence:
We cannot achieve happiness if we do not believe that we deserve it, that it will come, that it will stay; and even when we do all these things, happiness is still not guaranteed. “Confidence is a habit that can be cultivated.”
15. Avoiding failure:
Failure is a part of life – the greater the risk, the greater the potential for happiness. Wealthy people have more resources to collect and preserve their good memories. In this case, poverty of imagination increases unhappiness because it may deny the poor person access to many potentially happy experiences. In contrast, pursuing success does not guarantee happiness but its lack almost certainly guarantees unhappiness.
Happy people realize they should strive to live in the present moment — after all “you can’t change yesterday and you don’t know what tomorrow will bring “.
17.Not being Happy:
Yes, I just had to include this one because it’s kind of funny (and true). Be happy and things will get better…at least that’s what they say!
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” ~ Chinese Proverb “Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude.” ~ Denis Waitley
Mental illness can be more crippling than physical illness. In fact, the World Health Organization believes emotional health to be even more important than physical health. Depression is one of the most debilitating illnesses known to man; it affects people’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in ways that seriously interfere with their everyday lives.
19. Unhealthy environment:
It may sound strange to say that living in a city or country could affect our happiness in meaningful ways but research shows that where we live does have an impact on how happy we are. Some methods used for measuring environmental factors include analysis of satellite pictures, discussion with experts (such as geographers and psychiatrists), and conducting surveys among residents.
20. Relationship break down:
A study shows that people who are deeply in love tend to be happier than those not deeply in love. This may seem odd because married couples face the stresses of everyday life together, including financial difficulties, raising children, and maintaining a household…some would say these are stressful events! However, another theory is that marriage builds resilience; when one partner is faced with difficulty (i.e. divorce), they still have their other half to turn to.
21.Having no kids:
Here’s the thing. Parents are happy, and not having any kids may actually make you MORE unhappy– especially if they were always part of your plan.
22.Trying to please everyone:
Happiness is about trying to achieve harmony in our lives; when we try to do things that will make others happy or keep them from being unhappy, that goal can thwart a deeper level of happiness than if we had never tried at all. In fact, it can be very selfish to attempt to make others happy for our own benefit; this only makes us feel superior and does nothing for their state of mind. If anything, it increases tension and conflict between us and the other person(s).
23.Worrying too much:
Worrying is a major risk factor for depression. Focusing on the dark side can decrease happiness and make us unhappy people. The best way to combat worry is to find value in what we have instead of focusing on what we don’t have. For example, if you lost your job or something was taken from you, try finding other things that give you pleasure (e.g., friends, family etc.) or appreciating that you at least have a home to live in and food to eat while others are less privileged than yourself; this will boost your happiness levels!
24. Not keeping up with current events:
Keeping in touch with today’s news headlines can help people stay politically informed as well as increase awareness of environmental issues and world events. We all know how watching the news can affect your mood, depending on what you watch; you’re more likely to tune in if it catches your interest- find a topic or issue that interests you and keep updated! It could make a big difference to your happiness levels…
25. Social disorder:
Social disorder is another major risk factor for depression and affects the happiness of children more greatly than adults. Just being able to interact with others can vastly improve our mood if we are feeling blue. Even in cases when we feel misunderstood or misjudged by others, social interaction may help us feel happier by getting things off our chest. Obviously, not all interactions should be about expressing ourselves; sometimes we just need to open up a bit more or ask questions and learn from others. For example, asking someone else how their day felt going on helps us analyze what was good/bad about ours; there’s almost always something to look forward to!
26. Relationship conflicts:
It seems impossible that being in a bad relationship could make you unhappy but it can definitely take a toll on your mental health. Have you ever felt suppressed or as though you were losing your own identity? Relationship conflicts can definitely lead to lower self-esteem, depression, and even relationship breakdowns.
27. Expecting the worst:
In summing up this article…living in a grouchy and pessimistic manner leads to overall unhappiness! When we expect things to go wrong, they are more likely to– either because we somehow made it work that way, or because our negative attitude brought out some of the worse traits in others who tried to make us feel better by cooperating with our expectations (e.g., perpetuating the notion that everything will be terrible). It’s best to try looking at any situation.
28. Failure to forgive:
Studies show that forgiving those close to us and ourselves can make us happier because it lessens stress and anxiety; forgiveness means giving up resentment and anger, which are known, mood killers! Forgiveness also sets the tone for more positive interactions with others. Being able to move forward without worrying or thinking about what happened provides an opportunity for growth!
29. Financial problems:
The majority of people (90%) consider financial difficulties as a leading cause of extreme unhappiness. Having a high income does not mean you’ll be happy; it’s important to have the right attitude and mindset towards money in order to truly be happy. Don’t be materialistic but do enjoy your purchases once you get them! The best way to deal with financial difficulties is living within our means and being debt-free.
30. Social isolation:
People who lack social ties are three times more likely to die younger than people who do not feel alone, according to research by an American group that studies loneliness, based at the University of California. Staying too much inside also affects us greatly mentally– we need interaction with others/socialization in order to stay healthy!
Whatever the source of your unhappiness, don’t forget the reason things started going wrong in the first place. Try to find out the reasons and solve them! It’s all up to you! If it does not work properly then consult with the best psychiatrists in Orlando.